I don't know. Betul ke apa yang I buat sekarang. I feel so bad to myself. I hate my workplace. I hate people surrounding me in the workplace. I feel like I don't wanna go to work. I hate when I do not have money to pay 10% deposit to buy a house. I am mad when my 100% housing loan application is unlikely to get approval. I hate when my AF still hasn't coming yet. Hey, 7 days late already. Where are you going? Kenapa taknak muncul2 lagi? I tak pregnant kan. Dah tu datang jelah. Jangan la buat orang susah hati. Benci tengok BBt chart. Benci sangat. Turun naik turun naik. Nampak berpenyakit tau tak. I am sick!! I hate I can't get anything for my life!! This life is so difficult. Ohh, I am so sad...
I know this is not the right time for me to conceive. I just know that I won't be getting pregnant by this month. Currently, I am focusing on buying a house. Therefore, I just hope AF will come just at right time, however today already CD38 and no AF is coming. I did the hpt test this morning, as expected the result was negative. In fact, I do not undergo any other common symptoms of pregnancy. All nausea I felt last time were because of I fall sick. I do not expect AF will late this month because AF for last two months already follow the right cycle which is 31 days. Moreover, looking at the BBT chart just make me feel so down. I am no longer taking the EPO, folic acid, New Obimin and drinking Hi-goat. I am no longer going to the gym and taking care of what I eat, what I drink. I feel a looser. I don't know how to fix all these. Again, I feel like a loser.
I tak layak jadi kawan TTC korang untuk dijadikan panduan. I am having a hard time now. Sorry, I shouldnt be like this but I am so weak
|Current cycle (Jan 2013)|
|CD38, -ve HPT result|